When you are hyper-active in the social space for professional reasons, you inevitably share a bit about your personal life as well. For any of you that follow me on Twitter, you know that you get a veritable mixed tape of social strategy goodies, personal tidbits and loads of sass. As social media tend to demand, I’m fairly transparent.
As such, people learn who is Carolyn. What she does on the weekend, what she had for dinner, who she hangs out with, how long it’s been since her last workout (usually too long!), etc.
I’ve recently experienced a significant life event that has left me wrestling with whether or not I should share it. It’s monumental enough that I’ve already shared things that allude to what’s happening… but it feels incredibly self indulgent to make a declaration about it. And really, how do I expect people to respond, anyway? If at all. I’d really rather that they just make note of it and then go about their business.
I’m talking about the D-word.
No, not “douche bag.” (Though that is quite possibly my all-time favorite D-word. Or, word, period.)
Divorce.
(Which also happens to be why I haven’t posted anything insightful on here in awhile)
Between all my “moving out of my condo” tweets, people certainly could have put the pieces together and figured out that my marriage was ending. But frankly, as much as I love to share, this didn’t feel like anyone’s business.
So why am I writing about it now?
Well, I intend to take back my maiden name when the process is finalized. Which means that I’ll need to update my username on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Foursquare, Yelp, Quora, Google+… and the list goes on. When my username/handle changes, people will likely take notice and some may inquire. I don’t want to subject myself to incessant questions and remarks to the tune of, “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Do you wanna talk? Let me know if you need anything!”
I’m almost inclined to post this update to each network:
Yes, my username/handle has changed. I got divorced. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Yes, I’ve made peace with it and am happy. Carry on.
But does that expose me to a slew of random DMs and private messages from social creepers hoping to jump on the rebound train? Do I even owe any sort of explanation to my followers? More than whatever I owe my social networks, do I owe myself the right to privacy? Or, have I sacrificed my right to that by creating and committing to various online profiles?
I’m struggling with what to acknowledge about my situation. Yes, I’m laying my sh*t bare here on my blog, but that’s only because it has a fraction of the following that my other social channels have. Above all, I want to handle this with maturity and class, and I want people to know that I’m not broken. I chose this.
{standing on chair applauding} – You’re brave if nothing else. I respect your honesty, sincerity, and candor. I would expect no less from you.
How much sharing is too much? Pick your friend who uses the most coarse of language. If they ever say to you, “I believe I wouldn’t have said that, Carolyn.” – then I think you have your answer.
Onward and upward my friend! Better days ahead.
Oh Carolyn, you’ve never handled anything in any other way than “with maturity and class.” As always, you will be a standard setter in this new media world! Trust your instincts and they won’t lead you wrong.
Love as always,
There is a great saying I always remember…we all live in glass houses, beware of what you say to another in their sorrow.
Cheers to the journey, not the destination.
It’s definitely an interesting line us social media peeps need to dance on when we know our personal life is clashing with our online presence. Your life decision is no where near crazy compared to some of the drama we’ve seen in social media. You’re a class act, Miss Carolyn. And I think your blog-type press release was the best way to go in this situation so that those parties interested can hear it straight from you, but no one has to be a part of the awkward-hug discussion. I feel like if I were you, that would just get old anyway, and for others they probably don’t know any other way to react. Congrats on a new chapter in your life. You got this.
Maybe you could just retweet this post 5x a day for a month?